Both Sides of Special Interest Dating

Both Sides of Special Interest Dating

So you have met this terrific person that is into the same exact activities that you are into.  Most people would call this type of dating special interest dating because these activities may not be common like horse back riding, martial arts or even musicians.  It is one thing to have an open minded partner who is interested in learning what you know and another is a person who already participates in what you do.  In this way, you are able to collaborate together rather than have the teacher student dynamic in the relationship.

There are two very different sides to special interest dating.  Finding someone who enjoys what you love to do is a great way to meet this person first of all and then to spend time with them.  Life is so busy sometimes that between working and studying, the few hours that you have off, you want to spend them doing something that you love.  However, if you have a partner, you will be expected to spend time with this person.  With special interest dating, you can spend time with the person that you have or want to have a relationship with and do what you love to do.

You can learn a lot about your special interest from your partner’s point of view.  This could be valuable and interesting information that makes you fall deeper in love.  At this point, special interest dating seems to be the best type of dating out there.  Here comes the but.  A major downside of special interest dating is that if one day you do not want to pursue your special interest or can no longer do it, then you may lose the one bond that was holding your relationship together.  You may even become resentful if your partner can continue to participate while you cannot.

You may also lose your identity in special interest dating,  Many people pride themselves in having a talent.  When you share that talent with the person you love, you may feel like you are less special.  Therefore, if you want to feel good in your relationship and have a strong relationship despite having a common interest then it is important to have interests outside of your special interest.  If you are a martial artist, it may be better to train in different dojos.  If you are a musician, you may want to play in a different band then your partner.  This way you can keep your identities and separate your lives a little while still having a common interest to link each other together.

Introducing Better Sex to Your Partner

Introducing Better Sex to Your Partner

You may be wildly in love with your partner or spouse but there may be something lacking in your relationship.  You communicate well, you work together perfectly, you get along great and you make love but there is just something missing.  This failing element may be in the bedroom.  The good part is that there is a way to spice things up a bit and it will help to create a stronger union in the partnership. 

Kama Sutra is not just about some crazy sex positions.  There are many ways to interpret this doctrine and there is a lot more information than just 64 positions.  These different poses can actually bring couples closer together on all levels; physically, emotionally and spiritually.  It is easy for partners to say that they are in love and trust one another, but how can you actually physically demonstrate this love and trust?

You can demonstrate your love by the act of making love but creating a different ambiance in the bedroom will show your partner that you are open to new pleasurable experiences. Trust builds in your relationship with these positions because they are entirely new and you have to rely on your partner much more than in the average missionary position.  The best way to develop these more intense emotions of love, trust and even security is by testing out the waters.

There are many positions to choose from and of these there are variations.  Mix those in with foreplay and this lifetime may not be enough to experiment with every combination, but there is no harm in trying!  Here are some of my favorites that are great for beginners in Kama Sutra:

  • The Deep One: This position is fantastic since you are able to feel the closeness of your partner and look him/her in the eye.  The man fully penetrates the woman as she lies on her back and with her feet on his shoulders.
  • The Arc: This position is similar to the Deep One since you are still physically close to your partner.  The woman continues to lay on her back and lifts her hips up by placing her hands by her ears, the elbows facing up, and pressing up.  The man slithers through to penetrate while supporting her lower back and bottom.
  • The Trapeze: If you are looking for something a little more aerobatic, the Trapeze is quite fun as it will let the woman let loose of all her stress and anxiety.  With penetration in full effect, the man gently lowers the woman off of the edge of the bed all the way by taking her wrists as he sits with his feet on the floor.
  • The Mill Vanes: This position is a little trickier and it involves trust as you are as far as you can be from your partner during intercourse.  This can be a bit frightening but it can actually help to relieve jealousy in the relationship.  For this act, the woman lies down on her back.  The man lies down on top of her but feet are towards her head.  As he separates his legs to have one on each side of her head, she lifts her legs up and wraps them around his back.  The woman can grab on to her partner as he supports himself with his forearms.

You should never do anything that makes either of you feel uncomfortable.  As long as you are open to the experience, there are many positions that you can perform which lead up to more advanced and exposed positions.  Start off slow and work your way to new positions.  You will see that as you bring in the physical element more that your relationship begins to blossom more and that as this relationship becomes stronger, the more willing you are to test out new Kama Sutra positions.

No Label Dating – What Does It Really Mean?

No Label Dating – What Does It Really Mean?

It seems these days that couples who have even just one date must put a label on what it is that they have together. Are they in a serious, committed relationship? Is this relationship headed somewhere such as marriage? Maybe they are just a couple of people going out together to do something that they both enjoy. There is really no way to know for sure what sort of relationship exists between two people who appear to enjoy spending time together.  Many people cannot stand not having a label put upon connections between couples. After all, it might just be that two people have fun doing things that they have in common. It does not mean that their connection needs to be labeled.

There are reasons that no label dating is a good thing to do. If you are seeing someone who you enjoy spending time with and gradually grow together in a romantic way; that may be the time to tell others of your intentions. This is, without a doubt, labeling your relationship. On the other hand, there are a few reasons that labeling a relationship is not a great thing to do, at least until you are certain of what that label should be.

  • A very good reason for not labeling your relationship, especially doing it too early, is that you go from just hanging out as friends to testing what connection the two of you have. Officially dating someone seems to change everything because the relationship becomes a test. For instance, you may never have concerned yourself with thoughts about clothing. Once the relationship has been labeled, you are suddenly questioning how you dress or how your partner dresses. There are other things that come out once a couple puts a label on their relationship. Enjoy the newness of the connection before labeling it in some way.
  • Before labeling, things are done totally by what mood you are in at the time. Once a label is attached, you may start wondering if it is a bad sign that you are not holding hands as often. Something so simple to figure out previously has you questioning if it is going to hurt their feelings if you want to go home alone.
  • Labeling a relationship can cause you to have expectations of whether or not it will last. It can also make you very disappointed when things do not work.
  • Something that you should be aware of is how your feelings are going to be affected with a relationship label. Your emotions need to be able to evolve at their own pace. The reason for that is you might begin by feeling an intense attraction for someone, and then realize after a short period of time, that the compatibility needed to maintain a relationship is just not there. It is more difficult to backtrack if you have labeled your relationship as romantic too soon.
  • Expect your close friends and relatives to be nosy once you label your relationship. There will be a constant barrage of questions such as your exclusivity or when you are getting married.
  • It is completely normal to feel nervous when it comes to labeling your relationship and does not mean that it is doomed to fail. On the other hand, if you prematurely label it, you might find yourself asking for some time alone. This sets you up for failure, whereas if you are taking things slow, it is perfectly acceptable to take a few days for some “me time.”. Besides, if you never are apart, there is not the chance to miss each other.
  • Referring to someone as your “main squeeze” while shutting down other options too quickly can have you paired with someone who is not the best fit for you. Obviously, labeling a relationship too soon can bring about all sorts of issues later that you might want to avoid.
  • Some people feel that labels can create delusions of sort. Once you apply a label to a relationship, you have an idea of what you want from it, but that idea may not be based in reality. Things can become a bit dangerous anytime that reality is twisted if both parties are not on the same page. It can take some time to actually work out if this is true, so it is always better to get to know each other before attaching a label your relationship. This is where communication is vital. By communicating, each of you has the chance to know what the expectations are of this relationship.

In the end, if you just allow things to flow as they are meant to do, you have a much better chance of enjoying a successful and happy relationship.  It is fine to use labels if that is what you both want. Just remember to keep the communication going and the results will likely be what you have always dreamed you will have.

Why do most people still find sex and sexuality a difficult subject to discuss? – Expert Roundup

Why do most people still find sex and sexuality a difficult subject to discuss? – Expert Roundup

Why it is so hard to talk about sex? There are many different thoughts and researches about the subject of sex. Some experts say talk about sex, can strengthen relationships. Communication is crucial for a satisfactory sex life. Couples who do  not to talk about sex, are more likely to cheat.

When you talk about sex, you discuss what you like to do before, during and after sex. You are more likely to please your partner and have a satisfactory, fulfilling sex life, which in turn have a positive effect on your relationship.


Very Naughty dating decided to ask people in the know, about sex. Our core question was why most people still find sex and sexuality a difficult subject to discuss.  The response we received for this “roundup” on discussion about sex and sexuality follows. It is an ongoing compilation, so feel free to contact us, if you will like to contribute to the discussion.



Ruby Ryder  –

Shame is the silent saboteur of sexual satisfaction. Society dictates a sexual box we must fit into. None of us fit perfectly. When we have desires that are outside of the box, we feel shame. Communicating with anyone, even a loving partner, when you have shame about the topic is extremely difficult. And when sex is the topic, vulnerability and fear of rejection are factors as well. I think it all starts with the box! Just imagine what our world would be like if all expressions of consensual sex that did not harm anyone were accepted and celebrated instead of labeled and judged. 


Jake Idoko –

This is a very interesting question, with complex multilayered answer. I suppose it actually depends on age, gender and even sexual orientation. But one thing that cut across all the that, is the fact that sex is a personal and intimate thing. Its not exactly something you want to discuss with your work colleagues on a Monday morning or any day of the week for that matter. But I think single men, tend to talk about sex, with their friends a lot more than married men do.



Family, religion, and school conspire to make sex a stigmatized, hush-hush topic as we’re growing up. We’re supposed to be embarrassed to talk about it, especially my older age group. I find as a senior sex educator that when I discuss sex in a manner that conveys, “this is normal, this is marvelous, let’s talk out loud about it,” people respond first with surprise, then with eagerness to share their stories and questions. In other words, we can change our society’s aversion to talking about sex by simply talking about it!


Megan Bill

There are many taboo topics for the people of different cultures and religions. Sex is one of them and probably is on top of the list. The answer is very simple – it is very sensitive topic. At the same time we all understand that you can’t ignore sex because it is everywhere: on TV, in magazines, online etc.  Revealing your sexual wants and desires to your partner can be scary. But sex is something that comes naturally so you don’t need to feel awkwardly.




As you may have gathered from the responses above, perhaps those of us who do not seem to like talking to our partner about sex, may need to learn to open up a bit more. Almost all the contributors to our “expert round up on sex and sexuality” seem to agree that talking about sex, help strengthen relationship.


Would you like to contribute to this discussion?  please contact us here.

9 Tips for a Happy Sex Life During Christmas

Something that gets overlooked much too often during the Christmas season is your sex life. That might sound simplistic or unsurprising, depending on what your life is like during this time of year. It can often be difficult to find the time or energy for having sex with all of the shopping, decorating, cooking, and working on top of it all. There is something you must keep in mind, however. Having a good sex life can be an outlet for stress as well as just something that keeps you connected to your partner during the holidays. You should never let too many things get in the way of having a wonderful, healthy, happy sex life at any time. That means the holidays, too. Following are seven tips to help you have a happy sex life during the Christmas holidays:


  • Lose any inhibitions: Use that holiday eggnog to loosen you up a bit and have some unrestrained fun in the bedroom, or living room, or even the kitchen, if you like. Alcohol is a well-known relaxer and, if you imbibe just the right amount, you and your partner might enjoy some new sexy moves.
  • Fantasy fulfillment: Once the two of you have enjoyed a kiss under the mistletoe, you might want to try whispering your hottest secret fantasy into each other’s ears. Keep in mind that this can be any sort of fantasy that rocks the world for both of you. From wearing costumes to finding public places where you can show your passion for each other; the world is your oyster. Some of those Christmas decorations might have a totally   different meaning after this.
  • Stuff stockings with naughty things: Consider giving each other naughty items in your stockings. These can be anything from edible panties and massage oil to other fun toys that the two of you can use when no one else is around. Actually, you might want to have separate stockings for this if you plan to be around other family members or kids when you dig through your stockings. Having “clean” stockings as well as “naughty” ones will take care of this issue.
  • Sex coupons: Spend some time writing love coupons and then tie them onto candy canes. These coupons can be cashed in at any time and should be filled with sexy, fun things that you can do to and with each other. The redeeming of the coupons can also be set up in a sexy way.
  • Rewarding Santa: After a long, hard night delivering gifts to all of those good girls and boys, Santa will be ready for his reward. Serve him some cookies and milk while wearing a very special Mrs. Claus outfit. That will surely warm him right up and get him ready for a hot time with you.
  • Make a present of yourself: Dress in something shiny and sexy, then step into a large, pre-wrapped box. This will have your partner’s name on it and placed near the Christmas tree. Obviously, do this when you know that you will not be in that box for very long. When this special gift is opened by your partner, you can continue with presenting him with his holiday gift.
  • Romantic getaway for two: If you find that you just need a break from everything and there has not been enough time to spend with each other; book a romantic getaway for just the two of you. This can be at a resort or a bed and breakfast or just camping under the stars. Either way, all you need to do is be sure that the two of you are alone for a little while in order for you to reconnect.
  • Cuddle: Something that is a lost art is that of cuddling. If, at the end of a day spent preparing for Christmas, both of you are just totally worn out, you do not have to engage in some acrobatic sexual activity. The two of you can just settle down on a love seat or in bed and just cuddle. There is closeness with that and it could easily lead to kissing and then passionate touching and clutching. Many times, cuddling serves as the beginning of foreplay, which leads to some pretty great sex.
  • Eat finger food off each other: What is more decadently delicious than strawberries dipped in whipped cream placed strategically upon your bodies and eaten from them? Then, there is honey or peanut butter that can be placed in some extremely sexy sensitive areas on the body and licked away. Actually, when it comes down to it, you can experiment with all sorts of foods that are tasty as well as sensual.


The point of these tips is to give you some ideas to start. Once you get going, your creativity will most likely begin to grow and continue to do so. Remember, you can still enjoy some happy, healthy sex even during such a mad time as Christmas!